school really does make me think

So I need to write a research paper for English. Here is the idea: affairs. This is such a broad topic that I don't know where to start.

There seems to be a rash of people having affairs. Political leaders, movie stars, professional athletes. It's not just those in power or those who are supposed to be 'role models'. It's the man next door or your kids room mom. Affairs are the symptom to a problem and no one seems to be taking notice of this. Everyone seems to be focusing on the affair (or affairs) themselves, not on the problems of why people have affairs.

Are affairs socially acceptable now? Are they acceptable for men? women? Is it the other woman's fault? Is she a harlot praying on susceptible married men? Is it the men's fault for playing with a poor woman's heart?

Do the people having affairs understand how their actions are affecting others? Do they truly think the other is going to leave their spouse? Is it just about sex and could it turn into something else?

These are all questions to be answered on one topic. Where to begin? Do I go about this scientifically? I will start with the definition and move from there. This should be interesting.

what a wacky weird day

Right now I should be doing school work. With the day I have had, who can concentrate on psych 101?

My eldest child has decided she needed a hobby. I am all for hobbies, really I am, but this one is a little weird. Her new hobby is to rescue the kittens that live in our neighborhood and the mommy so we can get her fixed so that the kitten hobby can come to an end. One kitten was caught about 3 weeks ago, a beautiful little girl we call beyonce. My neighbor trapped the other kitten and mommy so we had to bail them out of "kitty jail" , otherwise known as animal control. Now there are 3 new cats within 3 weeks. For most people this wouldn't be a problem, but I already have 7, one of them being a rescue from the summer.

Now for the interesting part. Animal control agreed that they were girls. They went to the vet today and guess what. Momma is now known as Roger. Yeah Roger. Now we have no idea who the mother is of these gorgeous kittens, but we do know that Roger is a wonderful mother nonetheless. We would be the people to rescue a cat with gender identity issues. That's us, keeper of the kittys, crazy cat ladies, this is the house that cats built, so on and so forth.

These bizarre happenings went down before noon. I then go to work and have odd relationship issues happening that I can't go into. Just know that I am more confused about where things stand and where they are going. That old head and heart battle is raging on and all I can do is sit and wait. That drives me crazy! When I want to know something, I want to know NOW!

So this is the day that threw me a little off kilter and my schedule way off. I think a hot bath and mind numbing tv are in order. Oh wait, it's Tuesday and this is the night that I flip channels like a mad woman. Well maybe some answers will come to me in my sleep on at least one of my issues.

The view from where I stand

It's time to evaluate my life and my views. These tend to change without me even realizing it. Often. I try to ask myself a few questions when I realize that my old views just aren't sitting well anymore.

Some of these views I have changed my opinion on are religious tolerance, relationships and the dynamics of these, child rearing and political views. I won't go into too much much detail on my political views, but I will enlighten you on all the others.

As for religious tolerance, you can practice whatever you like, please don't try and jam it down my throat or judge me for mine. I have actually changed my religious views many times in the last decade and wonder if I may just change it again. I think this time may be the last because this time its actually spiritual not religion. I am trying to reach a higher spiritual level which isn't just a list of rules and regulations.

Relationships. This is a hot topic in my life lately. First they are what they are. You can't catagorize them. There are relationships based solely on sex. Some have drastic age differences or maturity levels. Others are different races or same gender. They are what we make of them, what we need them to be and only as long as we need them to be that way. I no longer believe in forever, just the time we need to learn from each the lessons to go onto the next level or until we no longer agree on the state of the relationship. If one person in said relationship is no longer able to live without compromising their core being for the sake of the other, maybe it is time to re-evaluate. Compromise is one thing, losing yourself for a relationship with someone is totally different.

My child rearing views have changed somewhat with both sets of my children. I say sets because I have 2 twenty-somethings and a middle- school and elementary-school age children. My views have never been politically correct. I believe in beating butts when needed. It is needed a lot in my house, more than I actually do it. Raising children with the internet is also a new frontier and I am still feeling my way through this. My youngest children have the influence of their older siblings, much more "stuff" and divorced parents. I am also a working mother who is in college full time with these children. These are all factors in parenting that I am learning to deal with. I think I am more lost parenting these two then I was the older two. I am seeing things in my children and their friends I wouldn't have dreamed of knowing or doing until I was in my teens. Maybe the other parents are having the same problems as I am and we are just all trying to feel our way through this.

My views change over the years so I am imagining I am maturing and not just getting older. I hope this means that I am growing as well. I think so and I kinda like the me I have become a little more every year.

how do you explain?

How do you explain to someone, who has no idea, how to be a responsible adult? No one explained it to me, yet I turned into one without sacrificing any of my children to the learning curve. I am angry at parents who shelter their children then wonder why they have no life skills. You are not born with these skills, childhood is to learn these skills along with coping skills when life doesn't go your way

.

I am now left with the responsibility of not only raising my own children,who have pretty successfully mastered these skills, but to teach another woman's son the lessons she neglectfully didn't teach him. I don't believe this woman neglected these lessons to punish her child, but to protect him from being hurt. Now he is being hurt because I have run out of patience. This woman was also raised in an era where men go to work and women do everything else, not that this is an excuse for lack of parenting,but some sort of reasoning. I am going to assume because I have a vagina is the only reason I have any kind of life skills, as my mother was raised in the same era.

I am a total believer that how we were parented, our birth order and, to some extent, or sun sign goes into making us who we are as adults. I am also a strong believer that growth is a necessary part of life and if you don't like the person you grew into it can be changed.

Challenges are a part of life and if you don't know how to find solutions to these challenges you never grow. Why would anyone do this to there child? It hurts me deeply when my children are in pain, but time heals and we learn. When they are met with these painful situations at a later point in time, they are a little tougher and a little smarter. It may still hurt, but not as much. This process continues throughout life and *poof* I am now the parent of two responsible (for the most part) adults.

Thank you for your patience in my ranting, I now feel better.

getting it together

So I decided that I am gonna get it together. Really. Get it together.

It's Monday evening and I did pretty good. There are many things I didn't do and things I did instead of doing what I should have been doing. I would say this is a good start to the week though.

My problem is never Mondays, because I am great at making that first attempt, it's keeping up the routine. Today was also easy because I wasn't distracted by a certain person getting me flustered and making it impossible to concentrate on anything, especially algebra.

So I have gotten something done around the house and did at least 1 /4 of my classes for the day. My mind is still easily distracted by the man problems in my life, but I am slowly putting them into perspective. Clarity tends to come when you least expect it, like washing dishes.

My best friend is in need now so these things will be put on the back burner. I am much better at running other people's lives and royally screw up my own. For the time, I will take the distraction of someone Else's problems, get my priorities a little more in line, and let the man problems develop as they will. Maybe they will come up with a solution all on their own. Nah, that is so not gonna happen. That would be a miracle above all miracles there.

spring break revisited

Well a whole week plus a day off of work and school gave me plenty of time to spend with my family and to get things done around the house. I am here to say that if I don't spend anymore quality time with my children and boyfriend in the next 6 weeks it will be too soon.

Everything I had planned for this week didn't get done. My loved ones got on my nerves to the point I thought there may have been a Easter massacre. Another cat came into my home and now I fear she will be staying. She is the least of my problems. Actually I like my animals far more than my family most of the time.

My house is still a mess, if not messier and the school work that I put off in order to get my house clean is now looming over my head. Well now I have a week of papers and tests to look forward to, getting up at 4:30 a.m. again and just trying not to drown in the laundry waiting for me or the dishes that never seem to completely get done.

Back to the grind never looked so good!!!