How do you fall in love with someone when you don't agree on most fundamental issues, or fall out of love with someone that does nothing more than worship the ground you walk on?
Maybe at one time I needed to know I was worthy of someone's love just for being me. That love has now become smothering and the flaws I once overlooked keep getting more and more pronounced while the good qualities don't seem so good anymore.
On the other hand to love someone that you can't be with unless you loose everything you have worked hard for seems a little like a tease. Its a different kind of love too. Not the burning passion, I can't live without you kind. Sort of safe and non-threatening, but drive you insane nonetheless.
I didn't set out on this juncture to fall in love, just have some fun and I surely don't want to hurt anyone. If I get hurt, then it's all on me, cause I chose this. The damage has been done and I can't stop now. In my head I know I should but I am one who is ruled by my heart no matter how hard I try to chain it up and tell it to mind it's own business.
Sounds kinda strange for someone who is pretty much a realist yet believes in the unseen. I am yin and yang to the extreme. I thought I had changed for the better and became a strong, intelligent woman who knew what she wanted. I suppose I was wrong in that assumption.
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